When my life spiraled out of control over a decade ago (bankruptcy, breakup, the death of a parent) I wasn’t equipped with the knowledge on how to make sense of my own psychology and all I ever did was looking for help on the outside.
I consulted doctors and therapists and wanted them to “fix” me. As if something was broken that only they knew how to deal with.
Well yes, we are conditioned to seek out specialists in all areas of our life if something goes wrong. If something’s wrong with our body, if we feel low in general, have only little energy or suffer from anxiety and depression or have all kinds of symptoms or food intolerances, we go and consult an expert.
That’s what we were taught to do, right?
Do you see where I’m going, do you see that this is handing over all responsibility to someone on the outside. It’s like slapping our own body’s innate intelligence in the face.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying to never consult a doctor or a therapist, no. I merely want to remind you that it’s essential to take responsibility for yourself and to learn and take a genuine interest in educating yourself when it comes to your own body’s intelligence.
Getting a good grasp on how your mind works can change your life entirely. I became very passionate about this but it took me years to really see the benefits of going down this new path of exploring myself.
My life started to fall apart and it took me over a decade to wake up to the notion that the greatest power lies in healing myself, and taking a genuine interest in learning about my own psychology is imperative.
The psychological journey for all those who are struggling right now in any shape or form is to get into the driver’s seat of their own lives.
That means being responsible, being in control by taking full ownership for your choices and actions.
It’s the exact opposite of assigning blame to things and people on the outside.
No matter what you’re going through in your life right now, you may want to merely optimize a few areas of your life or you may be challenged to your core and struggle and suffer - it’s time to look inward and focus on the internal work that needs to done.
Can you take full responsibility and abandon victimhood?
We all go through hardships and some of us have had horrific experiences but taking on victimhood as a permanent role means just attracting more of those things, as you believe being a victim is part of your identity.
A permanent victim is always crying out for attention, to be healed.
Only if we begin moving away from this and are ready to accept more responsibility for our state, our illusions and perception of the outside world will change into something that will be more giving, more caring, more nurturing and eventually more loving.
There will be the right moment to heal for all of us.
It took me many, many years to step out of my conditioned self that kept me locked in a prison of mental and physical suffering.
We all have or had our difficult experiences and it’s intrinsic to life that we do.
But ultimately, we have a choice!
We can make a conscious decision to look inward and take full ownership for our world.
The moment we start healing, we move out of victimhood, we leave the dark valley and all the chaos. Our lives improve, there’s less friction in our body and things can start to flow more and we finally transition from trauma and pain into compassion and full acceptance of who we are at our core and the world around us.
Founder of Moonsun Malibu